Many people tend to speak without thinking about what they’re saying. Even though this can go unnoticed or be ignored in other aspects of life, but a single misplaced word or wrong tone can make matters go from good to bad or from bad to worse in a marriage. Your spouse might be your best friend, but people are extra-sensitive when it comes to people they love. So, you need to make sure that you check your tone and remove a few choice phrase and words from your vocabulary once you’re married.
“You’re Just like Your Mother/Father”
This is a big no-no. We all know that our parents are human and so are not perfect, but having someone else point out their negative traits inherent in us is something that people take very personally. If you don’t want to offend your spouse (and your in-laws) skips this phrase entirely. Instead, focus on the positive things and help your spouse to get rid of their flaws through care, attention, and positive reinforcement.
This is a phrase that nobody like to hear, but it sounds even more of a nuisance when you hear it coming from someone you care about, e.g. a spouse. Whether your partner is angry, anxious, worried about something, simply frustrated, or just having a bad day, saying this phrase only prolongs their negative sentiments and makes you sound impatient and uncaring. You might mean well, but this phrase will only help to foster hostility between you and your partner. Instead, ask them how you can help.
“I Should Never have Married You!”
It doesn’t matter how angry you are, there are some things that you just never say out loud to your partner. Statements like this one are almost always blurted out and don’t mean anything as they are only a consequence of your own hurt, but they can wound your partner deeply. What’s more, this statement generalizes your whole marriage as a mistake on the basis of one small argument, which is just wrong.
“Why Don’t You Ever Do What I Ask You to Do?”
When you say this to your spouse, you make it sound like whenever they do something, they’re doing it wrong and the only right way to do anything it your way – which might not always be the case. Saying this also implies that your spouse should just surrender their free will and imagination and just follow keep doing what you ask them to do however you ask them to do it. Statements like this will make your spouse feel as if you are trying to hurt their self-esteem and will make them defensive and hostile towards you. Avoid such statements at all costs.
Whether in normal conversation, serious relationship talk, or even heated arguments, this is a phrase you do NOT want to use. This is the kill-switch for communication, and it will not only hurt your marriage deeply but is also disrespectful towards your spouse and sounds controlling.
We’re all busy, it’s true. But if you can’t make time for the important things in life like your partner and your marriage, then you need to rethink your priorities. This phrase implies that there are more important things than your spouse and your marriage, which shouldn’t be the case.