How to Listen Without Getting Defensive

Strictness in attitude, relentless persistence etc., must not be in your mood anymore after marriage. You are at risk of failing marriage if you have such listed above attitudes. These elements lead one to face no criticism. You are having your defence guard up while listening to criticism from your spouse is damaging the fabric of your relationship. While hearing criticism, you are merely listening to pick statements to fight. It always happens that you are fighting for a reason. When the matter proceeds with the difficult conversation, you choose another excuse from the fight and statements and start fighting for another reason while forgetting the previous one. You’re defensive. Make your partner stand defensive in return. The defensive attitude works as a catalyst to make the situation furious. Marriage Islam also corroborates the problem and teach us that staying calm and cool is the key without being defensive.

Learn to receive criticism

We backlash when we first listen to the criticism, and the complainer feels attacked. The best way to save your partner from being defensive and hurt is to acquire a calm composure and listen to all the jibber-jabber. Cooling off will lead you to think logically instead of emotionally. Criticism is not destructive at all. It is, in my opinion, a great state way to learn from it. Because the fact I am going to state here is that your partner’s criticism of you is the authentic voice, and it is the honest feedback to improve yourself. Nobody is perfect, and we all need constant improvements to grow and be successful in all fields of life.

Quit interrupting and genuinely listen

Interruption is the leading cause where the complainer feel that he is not right, and all the complaints he put went in vain. So they decide to leave the matter and try to be a bearing person. Instead of planning your next move, you should try to genuinely listen to what they have to say and try to find where all this is coming from. Not interrupting has two-fold impacts, it stops you from breaking the flow of conversation, and second, it can help you analyze better.

Watch out for your body language.

Keep your posture calm and attentive. If you are shuddering shoulders and rolling eyes and making comments like ‘Oh, you started again,’ etc., you will not win the situation. It turns into a lose-lose situation. Body language always plays a significant role in getting you to win the case. Getting unmindful of your body responses that are not in agreement with your statement is another hurting point. That chimes with the bleak scenario.

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